Or There and Back Again
by Ellie Mae Winchester-Kirk
Summary: At the end of episode 8x20 'Pac-Man Fever', Charlie went back to say goodbye to her mother, and re-read "The Hobbit". Here is that after scene, and onwards.


**Supernatural**:_ …Or There and Back Again_

**Summary**: At the end of episode 8x20 'Pac-Man Fever', Charlie went back to say goodbye to her mother, and re-read J.R.R Tolkien's "The Hobbit". Here is that (beyond the end) scene, and afterwards. Something that randomly popped up in my head.

**Disclaimer**: Unfortunately, I do not own Supernatural, or the rights to 'The Hobbit' or 'The Wizard of Oz'. I own Supernatural books, the Oz books and Judy Garland movie, The Hobbit book (third printing btw), and I have Netflix streaming… I also don't own Dean Winchester (But I wish), nor Charlie Bradbury, as well as their actors Jensen and Felicia. I wish I did though. Cause Dean would be my big brother. Charlie would be my best friend. Oh and can't forget Sammy too.

PS: This is my very FIRST Supernatural fanfiction, and I've been watching for a long time. So I hope it's up to par...

**- - - SPN - - - - - SPN - - - - SPN - - - SPN - - - - - SPN - - - - SPN - - - SPN - - - - - SPN - - - - SPN**

"Take as long as you like."

Charlie looked up at the woman with a slight, saddened smile and watched the nurse walk away.

Sighing, she pulled the chair over to her mother's bed, and took a glance.

"One last time okay?"

Taking a breath, Charlie opened the book from the beginning, the worn-out, over-read (if that was even possible) book, the one that her mother would always read to her at night.

"'_In a hole in the ground there lived a hobbit. Not a nasty, dirty, wet hole, filled with the ends of worms and an oozy smell, nor yet a dry, bare, sandy hole with nothing in it to sit down on or to eat: it was a hobbit-hole, and that means comfort…'_"

**- SPN - SPN - SPN**

"'_Then the prophecies of the old songs have turned out to be true, after a fashion!' said Bilbo. _

'_Of course!' said Gandalf. 'And why should not they prove true? Surely you don't disbelieve the prophecies because you had a hand in bringing them about yourself? You don't really suppose, do you, that all your adventures and escapes were managed by mere luck, just for your sole benefit? You are a very fine person, Mr. Baggins, and I am very fond of you; but you are only quite a little fellow in the wide world after all!'_

'_Thank goodness!' said Bilbo laughing, and handed him the tobacco-jar.'_"

As Charlie had finished the last of 'The Hobbit', she closed the book. By then, her eyes were puffy, red and her nose was clogged. Clearing her throat, she looked over at her mother, still laying there, still asleep. Only she knew her mother wasn't _just _sleeping.

Looking at the clock on the wall in the room, she saw that since she had been there, a good five hours had passed. Not only was the book long, but she had stopped and cried a few times, knowing this was the end, the goodbye.

Reaching out for her mother's worm hand, Charlie smiled, thought still sadly. "I'll be okay Mom. I'll be fine. I've got my boys, my dungeons, my dragons and my kingdom. I've even got my handmaiden."

She sighed, thinking of the LARPing and how much fun her and Dean end up having, even Sam too. Her life had severely changed since she met the boys, and before she may have been a little…upset about it. But now, it had seemed, had felt as maybe she still had family. She had two brothers, who were hero's, who had saved the world so many times.

"Go be with Dad. It's time I've let you go. Just… please tell him I've missed him? That I'll always miss you guys, and that I love him?"

A moment later, a couple nurses and a doctor came in. One of the nurses was the same woman from earlier.

"Are you ready, Miss?"

Charlie could only nod her head, in fear she might blurt out 'NO!'.

With one more last glance at her mother, she squeezed her hand. "I Love you Mom. I'll see you later, alright? Peace out." Charlie said softly, giving her signature Vulcan-salute. Grabbing the book, she made her way towards the door, only to stop and listen to what was going on.

Never turning around, just listening.

Gone were the normal rhythmic beeping of the machines, and replaced were just one long, ever-lasting, flat-lining beep, signaling the end of her Mother's life.

Never turning around, Charlie Bradbury closed her eyes and walked away.

**_- SPN - SPN - SPN - SPN_** -

_- A week later -_

It had been official. Her Mother had been officially gone for One Week.

Of course, One week, equaled Seven days, or One-Hundred Sixty-Eight hours, Six-Hundred Four Thousand, Eight-Hundred minutes, and lastly, Ten-Thousand Eighty seconds.

Before removing the life-sustaining machine, Charlie had made previous arrangements. Her Mother's organs would be donated and then buried. She went to the funeral -alone- with nobody else in attendance -besides her and the preacher- although, she could've sworn she felt eyes on her the entire time.

She had worn black. Black dress that her mother would have liked, and black tights. She wore her black converse shoes, and had painted her nails black as well. Charlie hadn't cared how weird or awkward she may have looked, she was in _mourning_, damn-it.

After the preacher was done with his words, he let Charlie have a word or two for her mother.

Reciting the words by heart, she began to speak.

"'_You have plenty of courage, I am sure,' answered Oz. 'All you need is confidence in yourself. There is no living thing that is not afraid when it faces danger. The true courage is in facing danger when you are afraid, and that kind of courage you have in plenty.'"_

Placing the favorite flower of her mother's -daisy- onto the pine box, Charlie gave a nod of her thanks to the preacher then turned and walked away, leaving the cemetery.

And now, here she sat on her couch in her small, but comfortable apartment. Boxes of tissues gathered around her, the blanket her mother made for her, a giant cup of hot tea on the side-table. Books were strewn everywhere. Charlie had gotten all the books her mother had ever read her, and re-read them over and over again.

The answering machine clicked on, and she could only guess who was calling. The same person who had called plenty of times, leaving plenty of other messages. Well, him and one other person.

"**What's up, Bitches? You've reached Me, Charlie - but I can't come to the phone right now, as I'm either busy, at work, or battling dragons and saving hot maidens. Leave your message after the beep. Peace-out bitches!"**

"_Charlie, its Dean. Uh, this is the millionth missed message I've left you this week. Pick. Up. The. Phone. Please?' _he sighed,_ 'Look - I know you're hurting. I know how you're feeling. Just… call me, so I know you're okay, alright?"_

'_End of Message' _The machine voiced and beeped.

For once, she didn't want her boys, didn't want reality. All she wanted, was the memories.

**-flashback-**

"_Charlene, you know, you can be anything you set your mind to."_

"_Really Mom?"_

"_Really." _Her mother nodded with a smile.

_"Even my own version of Dorothy? Cause even though I'd miss home, I'd have too much fun in Oz, battling the bad witches and my friends and I would make a team and fight evil things!"_

Her mom had laughed. Even at a young age, Charlie had had quite the imagination. _"Wouldn't you at least try to make the evil things realize their bad ways, and give them a chance to change for the good, Charlene?"_

"_But why? I mean, they're evil. They're not gonna change." _Charlie had been confused at her mother's response.

"_Oh but honey, everything and everyone has a choice to make things right. They just need the chance to make the choice. They need someone _good_ to help them make it. And I know you are a very good person, Charlene."_

"_I am. But Mom, do they really deserve it?"_

"_Of course they deserve the chance. Wouldn't you want a chance to change something? You say you want to change things, rid the evil, bring the good back. Maybe you could rid _them_ of the evil, make them good?"_

"_Hmmm - I suppose you have a point there, Mom."_

"_Of course I do." _ Her mother had grinned, kissing her forehead.

"_Can't you read me a new book?"_

"_One last time, okay?"_

"_In a hole in the ground, there lived a hobbit…." _

**_-_End of Flashback-**

A pounding on the door had brought her out of her dazed memory.

"Charlie! Charlie, answer the door!" Came the deep voice of a hunter. "Charlie, if you don't open this door, I'm gonna -

Charlie flung open the door, and looked up at one of her 'boys'.

"Hey, Dean." She spoke, quietly. Deep inside, she just wanted to be alone.

"Charlie." Dean said, a little breathlessly from shock. The younger girl he looked at as a younger sister, looked like… well, she looked like hell. "_Jesus_ Charlie…"

"Sorry, I haven't really done much. You can come in, but it's a mess." She said, stepping away to let him in, nervous for anybody, even Dean, to see her messy apartment.

"I understand."

Charlie cleared the couch off, replacing the books on the shelves of the bookcase, offering him a seat on the couch. "Would you like a drink? 'Fraid all I have is Jack, Jim, Tea and uh, old milk." She cringed from the fridge.

"Tea is fine."

"So, it's been an entire week. I buried her in the local cemetery a few days ago."

She set about making their tea.

"I know."

"You were there." Charlie said as a statement, as she already had the suspicion.

"Yeah. Sam and I were both there. So, daisies, huh?"

"Her favorite."

"They're nice. Not too fancy. Elegant enough." Dean shrugged, silently thanking Charlie as she handed him his tea and sat down beside him.

"Yeah."

"So, you dug through your old books."

"They're the ones she read me as a child. Inspiring me to do what I dreamed of doing. She brought out the LARPing side of me, some of the geek side of me. 'The Hobbit', 'The Wizard of Oz'…. I went back to the hospital, after leaving your guys' lair."

"Oh?" Dean looked at her in surprise.

"Yeah. I re-read 'The Hobbit'. Took me five hours. I said what I wanted to say, watched the doctor and nurses come in. I left after they called it. All this time, since she died, I've been wondering if I've made a mistake, if I should've just waited for something good to happen. She could've woke up one day…"

"Charlie, you know she couldn't have. She was just a shell laying there. She was already gone."

"I know. But I feel worse, having done it, then I felt before."

Dean nodded, knowing all too well.

"To this day, I've blamed myself, ya know? I was _scared_, Dean. Scared. At a sleepover. Who does that? You're supposed to have fun at them. But instead, I got scared. They should never have been on the road."

"Charlie, it's not your fault. It was the other drivers' fault. You were just a kid. Quit blaming yourself."

"It's hard." She complained.

"Yes, it is. But placing blame on yourself isn't gonna bring them back, Charlie."

"Does it ever get easier?"

Dean looked over at her for a moment, seeing the tears in her eyes forming.

Reaching over, he placed his hand on the small of her back, rubbing an area with the pad of his thumb.

"It does. I swear to you, it does."

"How long?"

"Depends. Just…Just give it time, Charlie." He said, softly, allowing her to wrap her arms around him.

"Just give it time."

**- SPN - SPN - SPN**

A/N: Alright y'all, here it is.

I might add just ONE more chapter to this, more like the epilogue.

Please, lemme know how this was. I tend to cry EVERY time I see the ending of Pac-Man Fever, and I look up to Felicia Day so much for being Charlie. I look up to both the actress and the character, and I admit, I'm a LOT like both. Gaming, geekery and all that. Just without the red hair or skinny. Ah, but one day.

I see Charlie as the Winchester-Sister, ya know? Do you agree?

Peace out, Bitches!


End file.
